p21. Mamas don’t let your babies grow up with bipolar parents…
disclaimer: this is based on generalities as it relates to our experiences, there is nothing scientific about the following, just general thoughts and observations.
This is certainly a sensitive issue, especially after a young mother to be visits and speaks with affirmation about this site. A lot of extremely young mothers are bipolar, I am speaking about the ones you might consider in a “crisis” pregnancy, the ones that go to clinics to solve a problem.
One of the biggie “hypers” in mania is sexuality. When Da was in 7th grade we had a psychiatrist in the hospital just bluntly come out and tell us that we need to face the fact that our kid was a walking vibrator and will be hanging with the bottom feeders for awhile – unfortunately this proved true. I am not saying this is true for all young adults with bipolar disorder, but it has certainly been one of our experiences and it has been for a long, long time.
Because of this I tend to pay attention to adults who are bipolar or my peers who were raised by a bipolar parent. I am sad to say I haven’t heard many good things. Let’s face it to imagine Ward or June going off their medication and hitting the streets for a manic, wild night is really hard to see, but these good people, if affected with this disorder could do just that.
Have you ever thought back to kids you knew in school who was, well shall we say, a bit loose? Have you ever wandered why? Was it just self-esteem issues or did they have a deeper medical reason?
Many babies who are put up for adoption can have a bipolar mother - it just fits the profile. So how does the parent of a bipolar child cope with the thought of their child having a baby?
My husband keeps asking me what I think we should do when we retire… you know things like stay in our house now, move to a golf course, travel… he’ll say “so what do you see us doing?” I am afraid my response is not the greatest - it is just simply –
“Raising Da’s children”.
Now that we know so much more, shouldn’t there be better answers or better information? If you have something you could tell me, I would really appreciate you sharing!
This is certainly a sensitive issue, especially after a young mother to be visits and speaks with affirmation about this site. A lot of extremely young mothers are bipolar, I am speaking about the ones you might consider in a “crisis” pregnancy, the ones that go to clinics to solve a problem.
One of the biggie “hypers” in mania is sexuality. When Da was in 7th grade we had a psychiatrist in the hospital just bluntly come out and tell us that we need to face the fact that our kid was a walking vibrator and will be hanging with the bottom feeders for awhile – unfortunately this proved true. I am not saying this is true for all young adults with bipolar disorder, but it has certainly been one of our experiences and it has been for a long, long time.
Because of this I tend to pay attention to adults who are bipolar or my peers who were raised by a bipolar parent. I am sad to say I haven’t heard many good things. Let’s face it to imagine Ward or June going off their medication and hitting the streets for a manic, wild night is really hard to see, but these good people, if affected with this disorder could do just that.
Have you ever thought back to kids you knew in school who was, well shall we say, a bit loose? Have you ever wandered why? Was it just self-esteem issues or did they have a deeper medical reason?
Many babies who are put up for adoption can have a bipolar mother - it just fits the profile. So how does the parent of a bipolar child cope with the thought of their child having a baby?
My husband keeps asking me what I think we should do when we retire… you know things like stay in our house now, move to a golf course, travel… he’ll say “so what do you see us doing?” I am afraid my response is not the greatest - it is just simply –
“Raising Da’s children”.
Now that we know so much more, shouldn’t there be better answers or better information? If you have something you could tell me, I would really appreciate you sharing!
posted by ewschott at Sunday, August 14, 2005
8 Comments:
Any chance she'd get an IUD, or even more drastically, her tubes tied until she's a bit older? Have you talked about it with her?
~H
Hey Jon take your meds and quit spamming here!
I just recently (today) found out that my ex-husband if bipolar and borderline schizophrenic (it really explained a lot). We have a 9 year old daughter. She has never lived with her biological father and really doesn't know him. She has probably only seen him 3 or 4 times in her life and they were all before she was two. I have remarried a wonderful man who has adopted her. I just wonder how much nature vs. nurture has to do with it. Is she at extreme risk because she is genetically predispositioned or is she going to be OK before she has never been exposed to him?
dear Lilly...if your ex was bipolar did you ever consider that you may also be bipolar...like attracks like...I am biploar and my deceased husband was bipolar....while there were numerous trying times and later a divorce...we had a son who is also bipolar...my son is having a difficult time true...but he is a good boy and while he chooses currently to be un-medicated, it is my duty as a mother to do all that I can to educate him as to what his disease is , how is works and what the expected outcomes can be....not all bipolars are as has been insenuated "sluts" and "irresponsible, dregs upon society"...I highly resent that kind of flavor being slung out into the blog-world....one only has to remember people like, Einstein/Jonas Salk/ Vincent Van Goff...and countless others have also dealt with this disease on a daily basis and contributed much to our society. So before you go giving the world "the woe is me" speal please try to remember that the diagnosis is not a label until YOU make it one....most of us out here are simply trying to hang on....you don't catch it..it is genetic...life is hard on all of us...try being possitive....your son desrves that......biplor in ABQ
"your ex was bipolar did you ever consider that you may also be bipolar...like attracks like"
This is so true, there does seem to be a pattern of attraction which actually extends beyond immediate family but to ones siblings etc...
"....not all bipolars are as has been insenuated "sluts" and "irresponsible, dregs upon society"...I highly resent that kind of flavor being slung out into the blog-world."
Again true, I hope you are not thinking this what my daughter is, because it's not.
Bipolar behavior during mania plays out in various ways but most of them tend to be of a socially unacceptable behavior, the big ones that come to mind are; sex, gambling, stealing, self medicating, religious zealtry (word?), violence.
I remember watching a 20/20 type show about children with bipolar and called the producers the next day because of my anger. They portrayed these kids as all being extremely violent, this was never our experience.
"one only has to remember people like, Einstein/Jonas Salk/ Vincent Van Goff...and countless others have also dealt with this disease on a daily basis and contributed much to our society."
Certainly another true statement, I would add Winston Churchill. I wasn't aware of Salk. If you meant Vincent Van Gogh, he's contribution to our society was huge but his struggle was constant and painful. Churchill had admitted substance abuse issues - in my heart I think they contributed that much more because of the difficulty in their illness. I don't think we can brush it off so easily. I think ALL PEOPLE if they are bipolar or not find away to deal with their own issues and be the best they can be.
Thanks for your insightful post! I hope you and your family are all well!
I am a 35 yr old mum of 4...diagnosed bipolar about 10 yrs ago. with quite a few horrid things in my past due to impaired judgement. My diagnosis came after a diagnosis of pnd after my last child who is now 10. But my memory of these ups and downs goes back to my teens...i admit i went from miss good girl to promiscuous, drug-abusing, risk-taking, and surviving on hardly any sleep at the age of 15 ...in fact i beleive i my first episode lasted 9 months and ranged from hypomania to mania to dysphoria... which seemed to set a pattern which i repeated over and over again till i married an abusive husband.after leaving the marriage with 3 kids in tow..i had my 4th child to a new man who i am still with after 11 yrs...but i have left him 4 times...all in mania's...my 15 yr old son has always been different to my other 3 kids...still has tantrums even now & probs with controlling his temper and dealing with his frustration, blows his money as soon as it hits his palm, talks himself into a frenzy about pc games to anyone who will or even won't listen, has ocd tendencies...has hypo-manic episodes (no full-blown mania's so far...he also has a beautiful sensitive nature, is very moralistic and fair, isnt interested in drugs or casual sex (so far)... he hasn't been diagnosed with bp although it has been mentioned on and off over the yrs...though he has the ocd label...im just so proud of him for managing it this far...especially as my partner gets very impatient with him very quickly...my partner accuses me of favouring my son...not tru...i just understand & accept my son...as i do all of my kids...its oikely he will need to start medication soon...but atleast we are all prepared for it...
this place has been my first point of call regarding this subject and i will definately be revisting
I am a parent of a bi-polar daughter, she is 21 years old and my son is 23 years, she is the only one that has been diagnosed with the bi-polar with manic obsessive compolsive disorder, Lilly take it from a mom that has been divorced from there father, who was never diagnosed with bi-polar but you just see it he really was, very abusive to me and my children, son had therapy for 2 and a half years, as an adult because of his fathers tiraids and tantrums. My son also has tourettes syndrome which was on my side of the family and my daughter with dyslexia which we found out after she was in college she had this. They said I was a tough parent but you have to be to get your children threw there problems and be strong for them because you are the only one that can help them control there bi-polar moments, my daughter has dated, this last one while she was in one of her episodes he was a not so nice person and tried to control her but he found out that he was also bi-polar. You try to raise your kids to grow up and do the right things but as I am realizing that you need to let them go and have a life also and hope the little voice in the back of there head says hey what would mom say. Lilly I stayed with my Bi-polar ex for 14 years and probably 12 of it was abusive but my mom would never let me move back home with her grandchildren because she was afraid he would come over and do something there which I understand now but never did before. good luck with everything with the mania and the running good luck with that I will say one thing please do not be afaid to 302 your young adult or adult child now because helping them out and if you do not know what a 302 is I will tell you sending them to a mental ward at a hospital to get there medication under control they seem to be getting my daughters under control my son still to this day does not take any for his but his case is mild compared to my daughter who has many problems controling hers. Good luck and best wishes.
Oh Lilly I am sorry my daughter just told me mom that it is maniac obsessive explosive disorder which causes her room or anything to be distroyed, she told me also that she wishes you all good luck and look into the maniac obsessive expolsive disorder also that can have a lot to do and if your children do get medicated help them as much as you can but take it from a mom with two adults with this you can only raise so long and hopefully the bi-polar does not kick in and make them a mennus to the society and the world but you love your children no matter what with the good and bad in both good luck.
Post a Comment
<< Home