p14. Overwhelming – What’s a mother to do?

It is just a fact of life, be it a new year or not, that things can just become too overwhelming.

How do you handle the thoughts that come with a full plate? Myself, I try not to think about it or I think about it all the time. Actually there are times when I just think about not thinking about it.

Da lost her job as a result of her last arrest; I am not sure how she is going to find a new one. She also had to get rid of her puppy, since the state would not pay for her to keep him. You have to give her credit, after everything that has happened in her short life, it is amazing she has the will to keep going.

For a mother to admit the fact that she (the mother) has a hard time having the will to be a mother, just shows how much Da is overcoming. She must really be overwhelmed; I wonder how she handles it. It's not really something I can just ask her, because our relationship has become very predictable – she say’s what she thinks/knows I need to hear. Smart kid.

So I tried to not make the resolution that this year would be so much better than the last. Last New Years Eve I did that and it certainly didn’t happen - so this year I am holding back any expectations and am going to let things go where they may. To not do so, well, it would be overwhelming.

My child has really left my nest - my input, decisions, nurturing, and parenting now pale in comparison to the Courts and all of their tentacles, some are advocates and some – let’s just say they aren’t very nice.

Say a prayer for Da this New Year.

Thanks.