p7. The Boarding Experience, College/Justice
The Boarding Experience
I must say this was a day I ended up crying for a while. Last night Da called and talked to Tom, saying she was back in our Justice Center. She had a court date Tuesday morning and the Judge told her he didn’t think she was ready for the Mental Health/Addicted program. He then told her she would be returning to the Justice Center for confinement until her court date Thursday morning. During that time she was to think about why he should keep her in the other program.
I mentioned - learning to be an advocate for your kids when it comes to school, I must say the challenge really changes once they turn the magic age of 18 and you are no longer permitted to discuss anything related to health, and limited legal issues.
She went to college for one quarter. We paid for 15 credit hours and a very expensive parking spot. Not to mention textbooks – I believe that Bill Gates would be a godzillionair just from the price of a “college” Microsoft Office textbook. Towards the middle of the quarter, in a moment of insanity, I took the money I saved for a new digital camera and paid for room/board with the sorority she was joining. This was with the understanding that she would meet the disability director for a standing appointment weekly. HUGE mistake, and in all honesty the splurge was purely a break for myself.
First, I think parents sometimes forget or don’t realize that when kids with special mental needs graduate from high school, most colleges and universities are equipped with special needs departments. Historically these would be utilized by the physically challenged or those who were visually or hearing impaired. Since ADHD and LD have become such buzzwords with lower schools, universities and colleges have risen to the challenge of these students too. Let me give a word of caution for parents like us, in the past our kids would not have been diagnosed with bipolar until they were older. Now that they are catching this earlier and medicine is effective, these kids actually have an opportunity for higher education. The problem is, their disability programs really are clueless what to do with them, with the severity of her illness, she needs a Jiminy Cricket on their shoulder at all times.
She ended her college experience that first quarter with three credit hours by getting a 4.0 in philosophy, and 0.0 in all other classes. I don’t even think she opened the Microsoft book; of course all of her books have disappeared.
She also earned 2 arrest warrants and a huge amount of parking tickets. The day she moved out of the sorority house, I think she left not on the best terms and was never initiated.
From this point on, Da’s adult experience has been in a state of high mania and minus the guns, lived the life of Thelma and Louise. We were fully expecting to see her on one of the stolen credit card ads “and I am the prettiest girl in the whole complex”.
This gets me back to the advocacy. By the start of her nineteenth year, she had 7 different criminal cases on the dockets in our court system. Most frightening two of these were felonies. You cannot be a member of the Mental Health courts with felonies. We had another angel enter, a lovely lady who worked with Mental Health and jumped through hoops for me to get her into this program, this included having the felonies reduced to misdemeanors. She also tagged Da's file for the next time she was picked up - that they should not release her on her own recognizance bond (OR) since she kept disappearing to NYC to start her singing career – she is really good!
The first time they picked her up with this flag on her file, she was placed into the “suicide” section of the jail, keeping her away from the general population. I don’t know that she appreciated the full value of this. They base the hierarchy of this facility by what jump suit color you wear. One day she called her sister and said “you can’t believe it they made me wear yellow, I was so embarrassed” (this was the “WOW” level of suicide). Her sister’s reply was “Da, you’re in jail, you should be embarrassed”! Since then she has been in detox, back to a doctor, trying a newer med Trileptal which has less of a chance leaving the body like lithium if the patient is drinking too much, etc. This med has worked well, so we thought things were going well. Somehow confined to this program she also received two probation violations, which took us back to the top – and the judge and the justice center.
Please pray that the court has the insight to do what is in her best interest later this morning. Because honestly, this parent has no idea what that would be. She has been crying all day and calling collect. The judge told her she would spend two years in jail, and she was lucky because if the felonies were still there it would have been 4 years in the high security “big” house.
I feel so bad for her sisters, personally when everyone ask what she is studying, as you most likely ask your friends with/are of college age – I tell them she is studying the legal justice system. They always say… “Oh really, where?”
. If she is sent away - “not ready for the boarding experience” – this time she will be sentenced to jail.
I must say this was a day I ended up crying for a while. Last night Da called and talked to Tom, saying she was back in our Justice Center. She had a court date Tuesday morning and the Judge told her he didn’t think she was ready for the Mental Health/Addicted program. He then told her she would be returning to the Justice Center for confinement until her court date Thursday morning. During that time she was to think about why he should keep her in the other program.
I mentioned - learning to be an advocate for your kids when it comes to school, I must say the challenge really changes once they turn the magic age of 18 and you are no longer permitted to discuss anything related to health, and limited legal issues.
She went to college for one quarter. We paid for 15 credit hours and a very expensive parking spot. Not to mention textbooks – I believe that Bill Gates would be a godzillionair just from the price of a “college” Microsoft Office textbook. Towards the middle of the quarter, in a moment of insanity, I took the money I saved for a new digital camera and paid for room/board with the sorority she was joining. This was with the understanding that she would meet the disability director for a standing appointment weekly. HUGE mistake, and in all honesty the splurge was purely a break for myself.
First, I think parents sometimes forget or don’t realize that when kids with special mental needs graduate from high school, most colleges and universities are equipped with special needs departments. Historically these would be utilized by the physically challenged or those who were visually or hearing impaired. Since ADHD and LD have become such buzzwords with lower schools, universities and colleges have risen to the challenge of these students too. Let me give a word of caution for parents like us, in the past our kids would not have been diagnosed with bipolar until they were older. Now that they are catching this earlier and medicine is effective, these kids actually have an opportunity for higher education. The problem is, their disability programs really are clueless what to do with them, with the severity of her illness, she needs a Jiminy Cricket on their shoulder at all times.
She ended her college experience that first quarter with three credit hours by getting a 4.0 in philosophy, and 0.0 in all other classes. I don’t even think she opened the Microsoft book; of course all of her books have disappeared.
She also earned 2 arrest warrants and a huge amount of parking tickets. The day she moved out of the sorority house, I think she left not on the best terms and was never initiated.
From this point on, Da’s adult experience has been in a state of high mania and minus the guns, lived the life of Thelma and Louise. We were fully expecting to see her on one of the stolen credit card ads “and I am the prettiest girl in the whole complex”.
This gets me back to the advocacy. By the start of her nineteenth year, she had 7 different criminal cases on the dockets in our court system. Most frightening two of these were felonies. You cannot be a member of the Mental Health courts with felonies. We had another angel enter, a lovely lady who worked with Mental Health and jumped through hoops for me to get her into this program, this included having the felonies reduced to misdemeanors. She also tagged Da's file for the next time she was picked up - that they should not release her on her own recognizance bond (OR) since she kept disappearing to NYC to start her singing career – she is really good!
The first time they picked her up with this flag on her file, she was placed into the “suicide” section of the jail, keeping her away from the general population. I don’t know that she appreciated the full value of this. They base the hierarchy of this facility by what jump suit color you wear. One day she called her sister and said “you can’t believe it they made me wear yellow, I was so embarrassed” (this was the “WOW” level of suicide). Her sister’s reply was “Da, you’re in jail, you should be embarrassed”! Since then she has been in detox, back to a doctor, trying a newer med Trileptal which has less of a chance leaving the body like lithium if the patient is drinking too much, etc. This med has worked well, so we thought things were going well. Somehow confined to this program she also received two probation violations, which took us back to the top – and the judge and the justice center.
Please pray that the court has the insight to do what is in her best interest later this morning. Because honestly, this parent has no idea what that would be. She has been crying all day and calling collect. The judge told her she would spend two years in jail, and she was lucky because if the felonies were still there it would have been 4 years in the high security “big” house.
I feel so bad for her sisters, personally when everyone ask what she is studying, as you most likely ask your friends with/are of college age – I tell them she is studying the legal justice system. They always say… “Oh really, where?”
posted by ewschott at Thursday, September 23, 2004
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