p4. Educating a special needs kid, now that can cause sleepless nights!
Da in her short life of 19 years went to many different schools to complete her high school education and one quarter of college.
As far back as kindergarten we learned the ongoing of advocacy in educating a child with a mental illness. Our very first conference with a teacher, resulted in us being told that “She is a space cadet, now I am not saying she is an airhead, because space cadets are piloting their ships through the universe, while airheads can only be passengers”, she also scored poorly on her motor coordination skills. It didn’t matter that she rode a two-wheeler earlier than most.
It is not our intention to bore you with the detailed 12 years of accomplishments, conduct referrals and challenges, but it would be a great disservice to not touch on some highlights.
First grade was a good year for Da, she started at our parish school and had a first year teacher, who was as pretty as could be and had a sweet disposition to go with her sense of humor. We learned two things before the years end; one, she told us Da spent her class time writing books and if she and the class were good that day, she would let her stand before the class and read the stories, two, Da had spent the year taking secret gifts to her teacher from her “father”, this was so her teacher would marry her father, and I, her mother could be the maid.
By third grade, we knew Da needed evaluation for school, she had seen a therapist, plus the school psychologist observed her in class. A diagnosis of ADD was reached after she meet a much larger number of the criteria than necessary. The psychologist told us she was used to seeing students not paying attention by writing on the papers, themselves or twirling their hair, but Da was the first kid she had seen literally standing in her chair facing away from the teacher so she could get a better look out of the window. She started Ritalin.
Fourth grade was were we made our huge mistake of not removing from the parochial school. After 4 weeks, she had been in so much trouble; which translated to the fact her name was on the board and she sat on the wall daily at recess. This school had a policy of the 4th graders changing classes, as individuals, not as a full class – much like high school. It was also one of the largest elementary schools in our city, so there were 29 to 32 kids per class.
Da’s major problem was she couldn’t get her things organized enough to move to a different room with the right things, her other major problem was a teacher that had no idea what it was like to be a kid. So we had our first “parent requested” conference. We requested that all 4 teachers attend, plus the principal and they were there. At the conference the principal decided to be the main speaker and told us it was their opinion that Da would benefit from therapy in addition to her medication. Well I would be lying if I didn’t say I was shaking and starting to cry. I just looked at the principal and replied, “She has been in therapy for a long time”. He asked what the therapist had said and I told him “That she was being humiliated at this school and we should remove her immediately”. Their mouths dropped. I bought them a very expensive book about ADD kids and they really got behind her to help out for the rest of the year.
By 5th grade her behavior had become so unacceptable from grades, social interaction to stealing that she had her first hospitalization. The hospital team decided she was depressed in addition to her ADD and asked us to send her to a non-therapeutic boarding junior school. They felt the climate she had created at home was so uncomfortable, all would benefit from her being away. New Years day I drove her to Connecticut to attend a school we couldn’t afford. Their only demand was Da see a psychiatrist locally. She lasted for 6 weeks; they sent her home saying she wasn’t ready for the “boarding” experience. We learned she had been stealing from the other boarders; hitch hiking with truck drivers for adventures and mailing her underwear to boys in her class. Those kids do the darn'est things don’t they?
She moved on to her 4th school to end her 5th grade year.
By graduation she had been to 7 schools.
It is good to take a break and to stop in the middle – after the middle- works well. Junior High and High School is worth the story, I will tell it next.
As far back as kindergarten we learned the ongoing of advocacy in educating a child with a mental illness. Our very first conference with a teacher, resulted in us being told that “She is a space cadet, now I am not saying she is an airhead, because space cadets are piloting their ships through the universe, while airheads can only be passengers”, she also scored poorly on her motor coordination skills. It didn’t matter that she rode a two-wheeler earlier than most.
It is not our intention to bore you with the detailed 12 years of accomplishments, conduct referrals and challenges, but it would be a great disservice to not touch on some highlights.
First grade was a good year for Da, she started at our parish school and had a first year teacher, who was as pretty as could be and had a sweet disposition to go with her sense of humor. We learned two things before the years end; one, she told us Da spent her class time writing books and if she and the class were good that day, she would let her stand before the class and read the stories, two, Da had spent the year taking secret gifts to her teacher from her “father”, this was so her teacher would marry her father, and I, her mother could be the maid.
By third grade, we knew Da needed evaluation for school, she had seen a therapist, plus the school psychologist observed her in class. A diagnosis of ADD was reached after she meet a much larger number of the criteria than necessary. The psychologist told us she was used to seeing students not paying attention by writing on the papers, themselves or twirling their hair, but Da was the first kid she had seen literally standing in her chair facing away from the teacher so she could get a better look out of the window. She started Ritalin.
Fourth grade was were we made our huge mistake of not removing from the parochial school. After 4 weeks, she had been in so much trouble; which translated to the fact her name was on the board and she sat on the wall daily at recess. This school had a policy of the 4th graders changing classes, as individuals, not as a full class – much like high school. It was also one of the largest elementary schools in our city, so there were 29 to 32 kids per class.
Da’s major problem was she couldn’t get her things organized enough to move to a different room with the right things, her other major problem was a teacher that had no idea what it was like to be a kid. So we had our first “parent requested” conference. We requested that all 4 teachers attend, plus the principal and they were there. At the conference the principal decided to be the main speaker and told us it was their opinion that Da would benefit from therapy in addition to her medication. Well I would be lying if I didn’t say I was shaking and starting to cry. I just looked at the principal and replied, “She has been in therapy for a long time”. He asked what the therapist had said and I told him “That she was being humiliated at this school and we should remove her immediately”. Their mouths dropped. I bought them a very expensive book about ADD kids and they really got behind her to help out for the rest of the year.
By 5th grade her behavior had become so unacceptable from grades, social interaction to stealing that she had her first hospitalization. The hospital team decided she was depressed in addition to her ADD and asked us to send her to a non-therapeutic boarding junior school. They felt the climate she had created at home was so uncomfortable, all would benefit from her being away. New Years day I drove her to Connecticut to attend a school we couldn’t afford. Their only demand was Da see a psychiatrist locally. She lasted for 6 weeks; they sent her home saying she wasn’t ready for the “boarding” experience. We learned she had been stealing from the other boarders; hitch hiking with truck drivers for adventures and mailing her underwear to boys in her class. Those kids do the darn'est things don’t they?
She moved on to her 4th school to end her 5th grade year.
By graduation she had been to 7 schools.
It is good to take a break and to stop in the middle – after the middle- works well. Junior High and High School is worth the story, I will tell it next.
posted by ewschott at Friday, September 17, 2004
1 Comments:
Jesus....I hope my daughter doesn't have to go through that. She has bipolar too. She got kicked out of two preschool and I decided to keep her home until kindergarden. She has been having lots of problems in kindergarden now and I'm considering homeschooling her.
Post a Comment
<< Home